I have been staring at my monitor for 10 minutes, finally these words coming out. Today is one of those days when you want to write but don't know what to write. Such an uneventful day, but inside I feel like screaming, just looking to release everything that was being held inside all day today. There are several words forming in my head right now, somehow they don't fit in any one sentence. Clearing my thoughts is such a chore. So let me stay away from that for a while.
Today,I would prefer to wear black, it feels dark inside.And I like to tone it up a little. Staying up all night, inside the black satin sheets, dark but smooth. Fingers through my hair, strange eyes piercing through my soul, whispers in my ear, that coarse voice telling me to let go. Feels like sleeping with the Satan himself. I close my eyes lest my secrets are told through them. It's a slow seduction process, but it works everytime I have to fall out of love. He takes me in, working up my brain, inside my head. The shadows pass me by, heartache melting away. Indifference creeping in, soothing my heart, putting me to sleep, silent lucidity.And then without a warning all the pain is gone, a numbness all over. Order from chaos. I now know why did I feel the way I did. But it doesn't matter anymore. I am indifferent now. And the devil has my soul!
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