"I react, therefore I am." I have been aware of hyper reactive people around me and turns out, most people react to most things. There is a variation ofcourse. Different time frames, different circumstances produce different results. I am not here to get into why people react differently( or similarly for all I care), when faced with certain similar circumstances. But really, sensitivity is overrated, to a point where we have become de sensitized to things that should really shock us. As a consumer, I am sensitive to how I am treated when I pick up my phone and call a 1800 number to the customer service department of my water heater. I take offence if I am not addressed, if I am not asked if there was something else I needed.. get the drift? And yet all it takes is a 'tsk tsk' at a news article about a plane crash killing 100 people, before I shun it out of my mind.
Men reacting to women, women reacting to men..those meaningless glances thrown around in a subway, women making sure their hair is all in place. Men looking at their shoes. It's funny, when you observe it. And the things that trigger those responses!
That was just the pretty part of it. How about this over sensitivity, an inherent need to be in the limelight, becoming dangerous? If I can spend a good part of my day trying to plot things in my head about how to get rid of people I consider inferior because of their color/race/regionality/accent etc, I would be really bitter and not very pleasant to be around. Thank God, I keep myself busy. I always thought people who go out on the streets and protest must be really bored. I wouldnt want to be walking in sub zero temperature shouting slogans because I am upset over people coming to my city and making a living for themselves. I think that's absurd.
Now, in North America, there is a very common term that is used almost on a daily basis, "I shall sue you". Where I come from, suing is a different ball game altogether. It conjures pictures of long lasting lawsuits. Not so much here in the Americas. This is the perfect haven for over sensitive people. Your dog barks a lot, I shall sue you. I can hear you snore, I shall sue you. I don't like what you have done to your garden as it spoils my landscaping, I shall sue you. I tripped and fell outside your house, I shall sue you. Damn you, you got a free pizza, I shall sue you.. Know what I am getting at? So anything that is a matter of slight inconvenience to me and interferes with my 'lifestyle' which basically includes every darn thing that you do around me, I am going to take you to the court and we will settle it there. In my country, you simply suck it up and make adjustments. So here is a scenario for you to relish. I am walking down on yonge street and a bum starts pestering me, shouting obscenities at me, something you wouldn't dare say in front of your mother, I turn around to give him a piece of my mind, it suddenly turns into a lawsuit against me alleging verbal abuse and defamation... huh? Yeah that's right. So what I have here, is a hyper sensitive bum and a lawsuit. This did not really happen, but I am sure this is quite possible.
Uh oh, just heard my neighbour shout out," It's bloody 9pm, when will you turn those fu***** lights off"... Sigh!

Rule book

I am 29, going on 41 and I feel great. Especially because that gives me the right to have my own life rule book that I can brag about. Sunscreen anyone?

1. Never wax your legs the same day you have to attend the party you bought that little dress for.
2. A bad hair day cannot be undone. Go easy on the hair sprays.
3. A good boss is a myth.
4. The moment you land your dream job, you get the worst boss ever.
5. Money can buy everything.
6. Your child invariably always knows what you think he/she doesn't.
7. Brush your teeth twice a day.
8. An expensive gift makes the thought that went into buying that gift worthwhile.
9. Never miss a chance to use the washroom.
10. Do not order crabs in a posh restaurant.
11. Sharing your email passwords with your significant other is not always a very good idea.
12. Delete pictures that were never meant to be taken
13. Do not drink and drive. Always know when you are drunk.
14. Mixing drinks is fun, never for the person mixing them.
15. Read self help books, they make good bed time stories.
16. Dream big.
17. "Yes, you do have an accent, and there isn't much you can do about it".
18. Believe in God, but lock your car.
19. Do not dance at an office party, unless you are kicked in the butt.
20. Seek help when doing your taxes.

And the last one, this one is not my rule, but an important one neverthless:

Don't be so humble, you are not so great!

Prisoner of the songs sung in the past

This section will be dedicated to the blissful times, a time so different, it almost feels unreal now, a time of constant inner struggles, forever changing perceptions, unravelling mysteries and creating new ones. A time when relationships held a different meaning and when the music was elixir for the soul. Only natural those days come back to haunt me, and I don't quite mind it. Sometimes making me want to go back, turn back the time as some would say. Only fools would believe that however. I wish to talk about the music that brought in new ideas with every word sung and new emotions that sprung up with every tune that was played on the guitar. Under the dark sky and on the green grass, watching the wall from a distance. The writing on the wall, " Am I unforgiven too". Late nights, words fading in the distance, looking from the corner of my eye, dreams in my eyes, songs in my ears. The act of hallucinating, smirn off rubbing off and the feeling of being comfortably numb spreading it's wings all over. One of these days the graffiti on the wall shall speak.
I always wondered if Vodka was made for Pink floyd or if the floyd was made for vodka..The answer comes to me, in waves ofcourse, only when I had vodka in my system and floyd in my head. And it did come to me in the summer of 2001.
I think it was some kind of a metamorphosis, a sort of resurrection from the ashes, just like the phoenix. An elevation of thoughts..like the spirit leaving the body and taunting you on it's way out, telling you to catch it if you can. Something that the music does to your soul. Telling you to find yourself in the dark, because that's where you belong. And the paranoia strikes again.

If you are too drunk to do anything, try some 'marooned'.
I think I need some sleep tonight.

Tuesdays with Bon Jovi

Now it's only 7 am on Tuesday morning and I am listening to Bon Jovi. You give love a bad name...nice song. I got ready real quick today for work. Don't get me wrong, I am not looking forward to going to work and all. But I like it when I have some time on my hands in the morning. Somehow it feels like this is just 'my' time. Ah the feeling!
It's christmas time and gifting is on. I have been scratching my head too, trying to customize my gifts for people I care about and people who come with people I care about. I am so weird when it comes to spending money. One minute I will be saving every penny and then the other minute I go and spend it all. There is something about expensive gifts that turns me on.. duh... I am also deciding on what I want to give to myself. You know I have been a good girl and deserve everything one has to offer and I want to show my appreciation for myself.. Now what does that make me.. a Narcissist? It doesn't matter, ofcourse I am my biggest fan!
Anyways, so back to the gifting ideas, I wish for a big diamond ring, that I wont get to wear but I dont mind it being tucked away in a jewellery box in my armoire. But I am still open to ideas at this point. I shall write about it when I have decided on a gift for myself.

Now as you may have noticed, the title of this blog had nothing to do with the content of the blog except for the fact that when I started to write this blog, I happened to be listening to Jovi. But now that I am about to sign off and make myself a hot cup of tea, I am listening to Deep purple, smoke on the water and fire in the sky.. reminds me of the horizon days,, dark starless nights, guitars strumming and the fireworks lighting up the sky, true to the song.
Later!

A random Monday night

I have been under tremendous pressure to start writing again. You know it's been long when you cant remember your password to the blog site and have to create a new one altogether. The urge to write has been there for a while, that nagging feeling that just seems to grow with each passing day. Today seemed like a good day, for no apparent reason.. but what the hell. I was also thinking about what to write. It's almost like I am out of practice. Too bad there isn't a 'back to work' crash course when it comes to something like this. But I am going to make an attempt neverthless.
So, I have been feeling a little disconnected with myself for a while. I have been observing less, pondering over the irrelevant and wasting my time in short. Now that is surprising considering my need to be self aware at all times. What is even more surprising is that I haven't felt the need to reconnect with my inner self. That part is also scary. I have been too busy doing things that do not matter. Perhaps they do matter, but not when I ask my favourite question "Is this going to matter in 2 years from now'. And that is the reason I am back to my blogging. Ofcourse I don't need a reason to start writing.
I like the fact that at this particular moment I have 27 things going in my head, wanting to come out, wanting me to type about them and yet I can't seem to channel them. Did I just say I like that? My thoughts are such a chaos right now. I think it happens when they have been kept in isolation for this long, almost bottled up. I think I am excited about how things are going to turn out. I know things will settle down, as they always do in my head, eventually. And I will come across as a little more coherent than this. But is that what I really want? Nah, a little chaos is always more exciting than the calm streamlined processes.
It's almost my bed time and I feel happy and excited to have started this. This is just the beginning of me unravelling my own self..exploring my deepest emotions and connecting with myself on a higher level.

The highlight of the day, I got hooked on to "Eats shoots and leaves", zero tolerance to punctuation.. A book ofcourse.

Going to bed now!